I have a confession to make: I love Walmart.
But my boyfriend hates Walmart, loathes Walmart. Affectionately called Tompers by his awkward teenage cousins, Tom regularly dreams of Walmart liquidating and moving out of his life forever.
This, of course, would be tragedy. Where would I buy toilet paper? Hand soap? All my groceries? Won’t somebody think of my Walmart Rewards?
In the traditional of People of Walmart, we wanted to start a blog called Tompers Goes to Walmart which would feature a new picture every day of my boyfriend trashing Walmart and hurting customers in the cash register line-up out of sheer frustration.
But we feel the employees and customers of Walmart take enough abuse — especially the employees. And Tompers can’t afford to get arrested. So we need to build a fake Walmart in his basement to take all these photos. Does anyone want to sign up to a be an extra?
You see, Tompers just can’t stand the long line-ups, the obnoxious customers and rock bottom prices. Actually, he likes the rock bottom prices, he just doesn’t understand that at Walmart, you pay with your patience.